I kept wondering why so many people were becoming Christian… My mother was raised in a satanic cult. Through trauma, she developed several personalities. She could be kind and gentle as well as cruel and violent.

When her boyfriend sexually abused me, she blamed me. She was jealous and tried to destroy me, telling me that I was unlovable, that people were saying I was a slut, attention-seeking and stupid.

I too was split – into a ‘dead self’ and an ‘alive self’. This split has been at war ever since. I was a child. I too was split – into a ‘dead self’ and an ‘alive self’. This split has been at war ever since. My ‘dead self’ wanted to die. No matter how hard I tried, I could never make life REALLY work. Conversely, my ‘alive self’ was grateful and abundant. I spent my life relentlessly pursuing healing, trying to crack the next code.

I discovered that polarity is a law of this universe; the opposite of anything is true. Then I began to meet people who had also been raised in satanism. I was hearing the same stories of abuse that seem unbelievable to most people. I realised that these experiences are not rare. Finally, I faced my cognitive dissonance and accepted that evil is REAL.

I had nowhere else to go but to the word of Jesus. All I heard him speak was love, kindness, compassion, mercy, grace, wisdom and right-living. In his teachings, I found nothing but truth and love.

This is when my two selves waged their final battle. I had to forgive the church. I had been abused by a church-going man who preached the Gospel. The wound was so deep. My resentment towards God’s people, the deep hurt at the core of me was screaming out in pain. I spent days crying out in agony.

But God showed me that abuse was and is an abomination, that it was NOT of Christ, or of God. So…I chose to forgive. And I chose everlasting LIFE. I chose a side – the winning side!

The human leaders of this world are governed by their prince – the evil one, the accuser who comes to invert, destroy and deceive. He’s the one who tries to force, coerce and manipulate through fear, shame and guilt. And so, he can do nothing but destroy himself and all who worship him. But Jesus came to save, heal and restore.

I have been sitting with a peaceful, quieted heart. Miracles abound as I wake up to life in the kingdom of heaven. Being born again is literal. It’s like being dead and then alive!

As the Bible says, when one person repents, heaven rejoices. When I came face to face with the reality of the devil, I had to come to terms with the fact that Jesus Christ is also real. I chose him. The false me, the dead me, died on the cross with Jesus.

He offers freedom – the most exquisite freedom imaginable. Jesus gives hope and a future. He offers freedom – the most exquisite freedom imaginable. He is the Prince of Peace!

I am not alone; I never was. I was bored of the selfishness of myself and the world, my self-indulgence and self-obsession. I was sick to death of lust dressed up as love, tired of being in a world where nobody really cared, fed-up of being amongst sheep without a shepherd.

I have found family in Christ. I’ve had people praying for me for my whole life! The truth is, no matter who you are, there’s most likely a Christian praying for you too! Committed Christians LOVE to pray! They love talking to God! And when one of us joins them, the celebration, the welcome home is INCREDIBLE! They will cry with joy because the spiritual battle waged here on earth is real. To be with selfless people who give all glory to God is beautiful.