Starting college at 16 felt exciting and kind of unreal. I’d never been in school before—I had been home educated my whole life so this was my first time ever being in a classroom with other people, sitting through lectures, doing group projects, all that.

I only go to college three days a week, and I don’t live on campus, but still, it was a big change. I was younger than everyone else, and I definitely felt it. Most people in my classes were older than me. I was proud to be there, but I also felt a little out of place. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to belong. Vaping then ended up being part of my story.

Before I Started

I kind of knew vaping wasn’t great, but I didn’t think it was that serious. I’d heard stuff like, ‘it’s safer than smoking’ or ‘it’s just flavoured vapor.’ It didn’t seem like a big deal. I knew there was nicotine, but I didn’t really understand how addictive it could be. I honestly thought I could try it once and just move on.

How It Started

I felt like if I said ‘No,’ I’d seem like a little kid. It all happened casually. I was hanging out with a few people between classes, just talking, and they were passing around a vape. They didn’t pressure me or anything—it wasn’t like that. But I felt like if I said ‘No,’ I’d seem like a little kid. So, when someone offered, I just said, ‘Sure, I’ll try it.’ I told myself it was no big deal.

But then I did it again the next time. And the time after that. And before I knew it, I was reaching for it on my own, even when I wasn’t with anyone. That’s when I realized this wasn’t just something I did to fit in. It had become a habit.

What I Didn’t Know

I didn’t realize how quickly it could mess with my body. I started getting headaches, my throat was always dry, and I couldn’t focus like I used to. I’d get anxious and irritated if I didn’t have it. I wasn’t sleeping well. It was like vaping was giving me stress instead of helping me relax.

I also didn’t expect how much it would mess with my confidence. I felt like I was hiding something, like I was losing control over something that started off so small.

Why I Quit

One day, I was at home and I ran out of vape pods. I started panicking. That moment hit me hard. I was like, ‘Wait… why am I freaking out over this?’. It just made me feel so off. I started thinking about how hard I worked to get into college, how focused I used to be. And now this thing—that I didn’t even enjoy anymore—was messing with everything I’d worked for. So I decided I was done!

How I Got Through It

Quitting wasn’t fun. The first few days were rough. I was cranky, tired, and couldn’t stop thinking about it. But more than anything, quitting was a mental decision. I had to keep reminding myself why I was doing it—that this thing was draining me, not helping me.

Every time I wanted to go back to it, I stopped and asked myself, “Is this really worth it?”. I made the choice to take control instead of letting something else control me. I focused on the version of myself I wanted to be—someone clear-headed, confident, and in charge of their own future. I also talked to a counsellor at school, which helped more than I expected.

I stopped caring what people thought when I said, ‘No.’ And honestly, the people who respected that stuck around. The ones who didn’t? I stopped trying so hard to impress them.

Looking Back

I used to think vaping was just a small thing people did to chill out or be social. I didn’t realize how fast it could take over or how much it could affect my mental and physical health. I thought I was in control, but it was kind of the opposite.

If you’re in a similar situation—feeling pressure to fit in, or thinking vaping’s not a big deal—just know you’re not alone. And it’s never too late to stop. Seriously. It’s hard at first, but it gets better. And you don’t need to change who you are just to feel accepted. Fitting in isn’t about doing what everyone else is doing—it’s about being yourself and finding like-minded people who respect that.